


Two of an Unkind

by Entropy House (AnonEhouse)



Category: Drake's Venture (1980), The Odd Couple (1970-1975) TV
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Fusion, Fusion, Humor, M/M, Reincarnation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-10
Updated: 2012-10-10
Packaged: 2017-11-16 01:46:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 933
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/534111
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnonEhouse/pseuds/Entropy%20House
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Reincarnated somewhere in the 1970's Francis Drake and Thomas Doughty share an apartment. Thomas is prissy, Francis (Frank, call me Frank) is macho. This leads to conflict.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Two of an Unkind

(If you are reading this on any PAY site this is a STOLEN WORK, the author has NOT Given Permission for it to be here. If you're paying to read it, you're being cheated too because you can read it on Archiveofourown for FREE.)

"Francis."

"Frank, I keep telling you, it's Frank." Frank got a beer out of the fridge, popped it open amid a spray of foam, and drank it while standing in front of the fridge in his boxers, enjoying the cool air. It had been a hot summer, and the A/C was on the fritz, and his ex was squeezing every dime out of him. If he hadn't been desperate...

"FRAN CIS!"

"Geez, you sound like my Aunt Sadie. What is it, now?" Frank turned to look at his roommate. He scratched at his butt and drank more beer.

Thomas gave him a look.

"And don't look at me like that. You aren't my mother, either." Frank belched. "What the hell is your problem now? I let you vacuum, didn't I? I even let you wax the table, for cryin' out loud. The place smells like a lemon grove."

"It smells like a locker room!"

"Tommy, I'm gonna let you in on a secret." Frank went over to Thomas and put the arm holding the beer around his shoulders. "I like the smell of locker rooms. I ain't never got lucky in a lemon grove."

Thomas blinked at him. "But... you were married!"

Frank belched again. "Yeah. Well, I thought it would be good for my career, and Lizzie's a lezbo, so it seemed fairly safe." He drank more beer. "But then she found true love." He rolled his eyes. "That Mary's a piece of work. Wasn't enough she'd come in and keep Lizzie company while I was working, no, I had to be out of the picture entirely. And Lizzie likes money. So here I am, next door to broke, but I'll be damned if I'm gonna live like a virgin queen."

"But, but, you write for sports magazines! You've been all over the world, climbing mountains and fighting bulls and..."

Frank grinned. "And you're an interior decorator with a lisp, Tommie. C'mon, let it out, you're a faggot, too."

Thomas's chin went up. Then he put up his fists. "Take that back."

Frank sighed, slapped down Thomas's fists, and tucked him under one arm as he finished his beer. Thomas squirmed and cursed and kicked futilely.

Frank carried Thomas into the master bedroom (you could tell it was the master bedroom because it had a window overlooking the alley behind the building) and dumped him on the bed. "I'm gonna show you what a faggot you are, Tommy."

"NO!" Thomas shouted and tried to get off the bed.

Frank grabbed him by one arm and tossed him back onto the bed, yanking down Thomas's imported raw silk sleeping pajamas with one hand. "Don't be such a bitch, Tommy." He slapped Thomas on the ass. "Or I'll give you a spanking first."

"I'll call the police!" Thomas reached for the bedside telephone. Frank grabbed it out of his hands and threw it to the floor before slapping Thomas across the face.

"That's it, no more Mr. Nice Guy!" Frank roared. He sat on the bed, pulled Thomas across his lap and spanked him until his butt was cherry red and Thomas was hoarse from crying out. Then he dumped Thomas back on the bed and stood there, panting and aroused by the sight.

"Fuck, but you're pretty. _I'd_ buy one of those purple velvet loveseats you design."

"Leave me alone!" Thomas sat up, red-faced and furious. "You're nothing but a disgusting, dirty, gutter rat!"

Frank's smile disappeared. "That's _really_ done it. I was gonna let you off with just the spanking, but not now!" Frank yanked open the bedside table drawer and produced a half-used tube of lube. Thomas's eyes went wide as Frank kicked out of his boxers and greased up his large cock.

"No." Thomas whispered.

"YES!" Frank leaped on Thomas and forced him face down into the rather crusty cotton sheets.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" Thomas shouted. "NO, no, Don't!" His protests cut off in a choked scream as Frank forced his legs apart and mounted him.

"AHH! Tight bitch!" Frank groaned and rammed himself in while keeping a tight hold on Thomas's hair with one hand and hip with the other. "FUCK!"

Thomas screamed and sobbed the whole time, fighting desperately, and uselessly.

"Come on, pretty!" Frank was getting close. He reached under to find Thomas's cock, fully hard and weeping. "Told you!" He gloated and wanked hard, while thrusting like a maniac, yanking Thomas's hair and biting at his shoulders.

Thomas cried out one last time, shuddering as he came into the sheets. Frank groaned and released him. Thomas lay still and unresisting, shivering and sobbing softly. Frank fucked him hard for a few more minutes until he simply couldn't hold back another second. He yelled and came, falling heavily on top of Thomas.

They lay in a gasping, sweaty heap.

Finally Frank pulled out, lay beside Thomas and pulled him into his arms, stroking his hair.

Thomas opened his eyes and looked at Frank. "I'm still painting the living room puce."

"Fuck. Puce." Frank rolled his eyes. Then he kissed Thomas. "Next time, you have to be on top, then."

Thomas pouted. "But you're so much better at it than I am."

Frank fondled Thomas's bruised ass. "Puce?"

Thomas sighed. "Maybe we can compromise. Sage?"

"Mmm... sage, I could go with sage."


End file.
